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You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello. Hello, Hello!

Posted on 23 January 2013 by Chuck Rey

***I must preface this email with an apology to those friends and coaches that I have not been able to speak with personally about this move or at least send an email. As much as I think I’m technologically savvy, I did not save my contacts in a correct format from Winthrop to Miami! No hard feelings please icon smile You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello. Hello, Hello! volleyball ***

Miami Volleyball Jenny Ingle You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello. Hello, Hello! volleyballA promotion, in the coaching profession, is daunting. Yes, a promotion is daunting. Unfortunately, most promotions require leaving a university and years of relationships with administration, staff, coaches, players, boosters, and fans. Because we coach for the kids, I often have a guilty conscious leaving them. There is that special coach/player bond. You get to know them through the recruiting process, when they are just getting out of braces freshman year in high school. As a male coach, we even learn about their prom dress color (oh boy!) and their pet’s name. I received a Christmas text message of one player’s pet cow.

cow tags You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello. Hello, Hello! volleyball

I told her the cow had funny earrings  Some players I have known for as many as 10 years (as I coached against them in club even!).

After a few tears upon saying goodbye to players from Winthrop, I’ve been overwhelmed with well wishes from players and their parents. Ultimately, the kids understand this wacky profession and their resilience and kind words help to ease the pain. I do want to share a beautifully crafted and much appreciated email:

“A day or two after hearing the news of your departure, I wanted to send you a message, thanking you for always being there for my daughter. Not only during her days in college, but beginning in the recruitment process and how you have served as an anchor for her.

As you move on to your next job, I will share one small nugget of wisdom from me as a parent.

As parents we see things through our eyes as well as our children’s eyes. We benefit from our perspective as well as theirs. As they mature, we hope and pray that the two become one. That the collection of experiences and maturation of values on their part bring their views closer to ours. But we also learn from them, and while perspectives will never really meet, they will move closer together until the day we pass away.

I will confess I will never get to know you as well as my daughter. I will, however, tell you that in you, she saw support, motivation, and never-ending faith in her and her abilities. Whether they are volleyball or personal-related. That meant a lot to her. Maybe you knew that, maybe you didn’t. But it meant a lot to us as parents as well.

I don’t know if you have it in your plans to become a father or not. And your personal plans may differ from those of God at this time. That’s what makes life so much worth living. But I’ll tell you this, you bring those lives to this world and you forge them the best you can and hope and pray you leave behind people who are a positive contribution to society, that in them you leave a reflection of your values and your character. You also are vigilant of them the entire time. You let them make the smaller mistakes, so they have built the tools to avoid making the big ones. And, very significantly, you learn to unconditionally love those who love your kids. Thanks for loving mine.

Good Luck and God Bless.”

As a coach, we don’t always recognize the profound impact we play, everyday, on these kids’ lives. Messages like these help to reflect on our character and are an ultimate reward for the soul.  I love what I do every day.

There are a few lucky coaches that have been able to remain at program for many years, ala Al Scates (50 years at UCLA), Andy Banachowski (43 years at UCLA), Dave Shoji (38 years at Hawaii), Kathy Gregory (38 years at UC Santa Barbara), Russ Rose (34 years at Penn State), Karen Chisum (33 years at Texas State), Bob Schneck (32 years at Rhode Island), Nina Matthies (30 years at Pepperdine), Nathaniel Denu (30 years at Southern University) and Carolyn Condit (29 years at Miami University). These 10 coaches haven’t had to go through the torment of changing jobs, leaving players, and moving to another school.

Imagine the incredible amount of wisdom and knowledge gained by each of these coaches’ experiences, the deep rooted traditions developed not only for their program, but the entire school, and the penetrating impact these coaches have on their community. How awesome would it be to be associated with these coaches, to learn from them, and grow as a player or coach? Fortunately for me, I am about to embark on a journey to soak up the wisdom and knowledge of one of these great coaches, Carolyn Condit at Miami University.

Yes, I am moving north, back to the cold country. This opportunity is too great to pass up. Coach Condit is the 14th ‘winningest’ coach in Division I volleyball history. She has 100% graduation rate in 33 years of coaching (4 years at Xavier too). She is a 5 time Mid-American Conference Coach of the Year, has taken 7 teams to the big dance, and has numerous teams ranked in the top 25 poll. But WAY beyond these statistics is her true, genuine character. She is one of the most kind-hearted, humble, and caring human beings. Maybe she just has me fooled, but she can’t fool all the coaches and mentors that attest to these qualities.

Hello, Hello Miami University

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5 Comments For This Post

  1. Gregory Adamson Says:

    Be true to yourself, help others, make each day your masterpiece, make friendship a fine art, drink deeply from good books – especially the Bible, build a shelter against a rainy day, give thanks for your blessings and pray for guidance every day. -John Wooden

    This quote truly reflects you as I have always known you to be true to who you are and who God created you to be. I just feel bad for all the MAC teams that now have to go against you. Always praying for you! Stay on the GRIND.

    -Greg

  2. Wanda Clish Says:

    I am so happy for you and wish you the best of years working with a great Coach, Carolyn Condit at Miami University of Ohio!

  3. Chuck Rey Says:

    Greg,

    You’re the man. It’s been a bit overwhelming the first few days here, but already loving it! I hope the same with you at TN. I’m so happy and proud for you! I look forward to staying in touch and growing from each other.

    Chuck

  4. Patrick Mooney Says:

    CHUCKLES!!
    Congrats on the move, but from a BG Grad to a now opposing MAC coach, go Falcons! You’re now a far cry from blowing up I-10 coming back from Tucson to Phoenix….remember that one? I do.

    You’ll do great & stay in touch!

  5. Chuck Rey Says:

    Mooney! So glad you reached out to me. I’ve lost a few contacts in the transfer of data and good to have yours back. Thanks for the well wishes, but can we please keep all stories from Arizona on the D.L. so I can keep my job at Miami :)

2 Trackbacks For This Post

  1. Goal Setting | Volleyball Coach Chuck Rey | Volleyball Blog | College Volleyball Coach Says:

    [...] While interviewing for this head coach position, I was also interviewing with Miami University. The timing was right and the pieces fit (see Path C under Short Term and bullets under Long Term goals). Head Coach Carolyn Condit is one of the most kind-hearted, humble, and caring human-beings (one of my goals) that has had numerous Top 25 teams (one of my goals), reached the NCAA Tournament 7 times (one of my goals) and is beginning her 30th year of coaching. I realized the knowledge and experience I could soak up from her (one of my goals). As I reflected on my goals, it was easy to be true to myself. Miami University is a perfect fit.My goal of this post is for you to take time for yourself to develop your own goals or revise your goals to help make the decision making process easier. If you want to read more about my process, see my blog post: You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello. Hello, Hello!  [...]

  2. The Next Coaching Move | The Art of Coaching Volleyball Says:

    […] As read from my goals, the decision was already made: I was flexible to either a head coaching position or an assistant position. The answer was strictly dependent on the best fit position that opened up. This was completely uncontrollable and I had to trust in prayer.Granted we all want to coach at Hawaii, but there hasn’t been a new head coach there in 38 years. So that wasn’t happening for me We have to be realistic with ourselves and the opportunities that present themselves. I interviewed for a head coach position at a smaller Division I program. The location of the Division I program was ideal and there were a lot of personal benefits I would have been afforded should I have chosen that school, but I did not believe that I could be successful professionally at that school. The school has been successful in the past, but I did not believe I could be successful there. If I did not believe, my chances of success were already greatly diminished. I had to be true to myself. As much as I personally wanted it to be the right fit, It wasn’t the right fit for me professionally.While interviewing for this head coach position, I was also interviewing with Miami University. The timing was right and the pieces fit (see Path C under Short Term and bullets under Long Term goals). Head Coach Carolyn Condit is one of the most kind-hearted, humble, and caring human-beings (one of my goals) that has had numerous Top 25 teams (one of my goals), reached the NCAA Tournament 7 times (one of my goals) and is beginning her 30th year of coaching. I realized the knowledge and experience I could soak up from her (one of my goals). As I reflected on my goals, it was easy to be true to myself. Miami University is a perfect fit.My goal of this post is for you to take time for yourself to develop your own goals or revise your goals to help make the decision making process easier. If you want to read more about my process, see my blog post: You Say Goodbye and I Say Hello. Hello, Hello!  […]

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Coach Chuck Rey is Assistant Coach at Miami University


Prior to this position, he was Assistant Coach at Winthrop University, the University of Minnesota and Georgia Southern University.

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